Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can also hurt me.

"Shad, Oh my gosh sit down. You look so stupid! You look like a dog. People do not stick their head out the window and stick their tongue out. Shad, I'm serious! Stop, I mean it! Stop it right now! Mom, roll his window up! Shad, why would you even do that, you don't even realize how dumb you just looked. You're so annoying. I don't know how mom even puts up with you. I don't even like you!"
-Alyssa (Me) (as awful to admit as it is.)


Why on earth do we say mean hurtful things to people? Do we say it out of anger? Do we try to hurt them? Does it make us feel better? In the moment I think it is all of those things. When we are thinking completely irrational. Maybe we are having a bad day, and don't want to be alone in misery. But how completely horrid and selfish is that. I know that I have hurt a lot of people's feelings by being irrational and not caring. The worst part is that I say these things to the people I love the most. In all honesty, we shouldn't say these to anyone, we should love everyone and not want to cause them pain.


You know that saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me."  I remember when the worst pain I knew was falling and skinning my knee. Oh don't I wish that was still the most pain I have felt. I must admit that the emotional pain from unkind words is much worse. We can say that words don't affect us, but they do. They hurt worse than anything. A skinned knee heels in a few weeks, but when do hurt feelings? Do they ever? When do we get over being repeatedly called mean names?

I know that it's hard trying to get over words. As much as you try to ignore them, they come back to haunt you at the worst times. The times when you can barely handle it. When you are down on yourself, when you feel worthless, when everything is going wrong.When you are hurting and alone. I don't normally talk about my pain. But I have cried more over emotional pain than physical pain. I have been asked why I have been sad, and told that my life is so great. People don't always understand how much words can hurt. How being gossiped about builds up. It makes you feel so alone. You can try to ignore it and fake a smile, but how long can you fake it. How it seems you are getting judged for every little thing you do. When you don't know who you can talk to, because the next day they are talking about you.

I can honestly say that it is hard. It is hard trying to be nice to people that have made you feel horrible. When I was repeatedly being called things, it did get to me. I did start believing it. I started to shut down and put walls up. I tried to make sure nobody ever got close enough to really hurt me. But it's not like only people close to me could hurt me. It did hurt hearing people talk about me that I did not even know. People that I had never even talked to. I wondered why people that I didn't even know talked about me. Maybe it was because everyone was doing it. it wasn't popular to stand up and not talk about me. I was hurting and I was not happy. I wanted to run away from it, but you can't run away from your emotions. You can't escape how you feel about yourself. I didn't even like myself, I was believing what people were saying. 

One day I realized that I would never be happy like that. To get over it I had to forgive everyone that had ever said anything. I learned not to hate, but to love everyone. I learned to smile when I got dirty looks. I learned to not judge them, but to accept them. I learned to be nice to people that weren't nice to me. I learned to say something nice when I was tempted to say something mean. Eventually things changed I was actually nice and not unhappy. Slowly but surely I was treated different. I know that a lot of people still don't like me, but I have learned to like myself. I now know how to take unkind words. They still hurt and I'm still working on it. I'm still working on being myself and breaking down my walls. I'm still trying to not say unkind thing. But it is really hard. It is something we all need to work on, we have all been spoken to unkindly.

Everyone knows what I'm talking about. Everyone has been called a mean name or has had unkind words spoken to them. It's not fun, and it does hurt. You feel alone, and angry at that person for making you feel that way. But do you ever think about how that person feels, they have been hurt by words too. It's an endless vicious cycle. Well why can't we end it? Why can't we take a second and breathe? Why can't we think about how they are feeling? Why can't we remember how we feel in that situation? Why can't we let them be happy? Why can't we? Well we can, and we should! 


Instead of speaking out in anger, take a second and breathe. Instead of getting jealous and wanting them to feel bad, let them be happy and even compliment them. We can turn this around. "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you, and persecute you;" -Matthew 5:44. We can do it! It does take a conscious effort, but it's worth it. It does make you feel better! Where has hate ever gotten you? It sure doesn't make you feel good. But being kind does. Live by the golden rule! "Do unto others as you would have done unto you.". Put yourself in another persons shoes. If you wouldn't like it don't say it, don't do it. Be kind to everyone. Try sticking up for someone that you normally wouldn't. Stop gossip before it starts. Words do hurt, and why do we need more pain in this world? We don't need to purposely inflict pain on anyone.


My point is simple words or careless things we say can have a huge impact on our lives. They can make or break someone. They can cause problems or help solve them. Words are so amazing but we need to be kind about what we say. We need to be careful not to speak out in anger. We need to try to uplift everyone and not bring them down. When you try to bring someone else down, you are bringing yourself down with them. My challenge is try and be nice! When you are angry or annoyed just take a second and breathe. Do you really mean it? Try to replace it with something nice. Think of something you like about that person. It helps, and makes you feel much better. 
"Sticks and stones may breaks my bone, but words can also hurt me."


So Just Love Me, and everyone else!
-Alyssa