You know those conversations that you have where the whole group is reminiscing about old times and you constantly hear Awhhh I miss that. It seems like lately that is always happening to me. Or I just think about something and I really do miss so many things that I took for granted.
I remember being little and fearless and all you wanted to do was have fun! When you could run for what seemed like ever without getting tired. When you would fall and skin your knee and jump back up because it was no big deal. when riding your bike was an everyday thing. When it didn't matter that you weren't wearing make up or your hair wasn't done. When everything was a game and you didn't have a care in the world. When you used your imagination and didn't care that people were watching. When thinking a boy was cute was a BIG deal. I remember when playing was more important that eating. When it didn't bother you that your hands were dirty. When all you wanted to do was be big! When you just couldn't wait to grow up.
I remember being in Jr. High and just trying to figure out what was going on. When you started worrying about what you wore or your hair. When you first put on make up and it was absolutely horrendous. When boys became hott not cute. When you first held a guys hand, but were way to scared to actually kiss. When being "cool" became important. When you took a look at who your friends were. When you learned about gossip. When you learned about true friends. when EVERYTHING was the end of the world. When you first ditched class. When you start learning what the bad words actually are, and what things are. When you had to buy your first bra(even though I didn't have boobs, everyone else just had one, so I wanted one). When you get the puberty lesson and you just giggle about it. When the bowling alley was cool. When a tiny bit of rebellion was huge and the BIGGEST secret ever. When you talked about "When we are in high school.". When all you wanted was to go to high school.
I remember being in High School thinking it was so cool. When Senior boys were the hottest thing ever. When boys were sexy instead of hott. When you thought you were awesome. When you realized you weren't. When holding hands turned into kissing and kissing turned into making out and making out turned into.... you get the point. When everything was still a big deal. When your style changed every few months. When cruising was cool. When you took all night to get ready and could only go out for an hour.When you learned how damaging rumors are. When you learned about mean girls. When you learned about revenge and grudges.When you learned about high school parties. When you learned how bad of a driver you actually are. When you had a lunch routine and could eat ridiculous amounts of food in a short time. When you learned how to eat and drive. When everything was an inside joke.When you only liked boys from other schools. When you had a boy in every other school. When your shirt got lower and your pants got tighter.... at least once. when you just wanted to be a senior. When you got denied by the one guy you actually liked. When you cried over a guy and watched movies and ate ice cream with that one true friend that will always be there. When you go do completely ridiculous stuff just because. When you ditched school and some how never got caught( because we didn't learn in Jr. high).When you really didn't learn anything. When you all the fast food restaurants in town knew what you were getting. When you would buy hot n spicy's with pennies. When all you wanted to do was graduate.
And... now I look back and wonder what my hurry was! I wish I would have looked at things different and enjoyed every single little thing instead of looking forward only to growing up. Because I was so set on the future I didn't enjoy the present as much as I should have I didn't appreciate all the little things. When I look back and reminisce in 10 years I want to be able to say I enjoyed that as much as I could have, and I did everything I could to make that day amazing!! No matter what you will always remember things and miss things but if you make everything the best you can be completely happy looking back but knowing you are living everyday to its fullest and not trying to live for what could come. If you live for today the better memories you will have tomorrow!!! Don't live in the past wanting to go back but sometimes it is good to think back and remember but you cant live in the future just waiting for things you what. Do what you can now and make absolutely every moment something worth remembering.
But..... I would like to say that there are certain people that have made soo many amazing memories for me. That I always lived in the moment with.
I could go on for days about all the stories and amazing times that I have had with my Family. Each member of my family I have at least one story that immediately comes to mind. I could write a book on my crazy family that I absolutely love!! I know my family isn't normal but they are fun and those make the best times. There are way too many memories to even put in here, but they are all entertaining.
Then there are my friends that will always bring up some of the times I have laughed the hardest and had the most fun. I might not have the most friends in the world because of some of the things I learned but those friends that I do have really do mean something and I will never ever forget them.
There are always those random people who have come through and you don't have many memories but you still do and they are amazing. It is the little things that make life sooo enjoy everything because when you wake up tomorrow its not always there.
So... Just Love Me and live for today(even though I contradict myself because this post is completely about the past).
Alyssa
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
What YOU think does matter!!
I often have conversations with people that consist of:
What are you doing
_____________(Whatever I'm doing)!! What about you?
Nothing I'm Bored.
And I would just like to express how much this bothers me!! There is honestly no reason for anyone to be bored ever!! I remember learning this at a pretty young age. I used to always complain to my mom about how bored I was and how there was nothing to do, and she would simply respond with " I know lots of things you could do, you can start with cleaning the Kitchen." .
Once I finally learned that if I entertained myself and stopped saying I was bored I didn't have to clean quite so much. That is what started my ability to be easily entertained. There is always a start but after talking to my Grandpa it finally completely clicked. My grandpa always had these profound ideas. I don't know if he actually meant this but sometimes I interpret things differently. I remember him talking to me about how attitude is everything. Its not what happens to you its how you respond.(I'll probably do a blog about that another time) Another thing I remember him talking about was that there was NEVER a reason to be bored when the is sooo much to do. But me being me I combined the two.
So finally after years of practiced I have developed this attitude of always being entertained no matter what. I am never bored no matter what I am doing. It is awesome. Even if I am doing absolutely nothing I tell myself I am having fun, and here's the catch, if I think I'm having fun, then I obviously am. Everything really is up to you and how you respond. So taking all the lessons I have learned I'm completely content with anything I am doing. I can be in a room and just think and be completely happy. I can be sitting at work and be entertained by the littlest thing. Or I can be at a wrestling tournament with a handful of change and entertain myself as well as two wrestling teams. I can have a bag of popcorn in a crowd and drive everyone else crazy and completely embarrass my parents but be having an absolute ball! So in reality its not actually what you are doing, its what you YOU think you're doing and how YOU think you're doing it!!!My life might not be eventful or have the greatest stories or anything like that, But I will tell you what I love my life and everything I do makes me happy, And that's what I think so that's what it is! So do yourself a favor DON'T BE BORED!!! There is no reason!! There is always something to do!! Whether or not you want to is a different story but again that is all about your attitude. Change it!! Be entertained, because if you can't even entertain yourself how do you expect to entertain anyone else!!! And even if you don't entertain anyone else at least you can entertain yourself and don't have to rely on someone else to do the job!! My brothers always make fun of me because I will say something that I think is hilarious and just crack up, and say "that was funny, I'm funny.". Which is usually followed by an "Alyssa, Your not funny!!" But they are always laughing!! So in one way or another I'm entertained and as much as they, say they aren't they really are!! But anyways, back to entertaining yourself just tell yourself your having fun, and you obviously are! Last night I watched T.V. in Spanish for like an hour and just made up what was going on! To the majority of the world that sounds SUUUPER lame. But because I thought it was a blast it was!! In all honesty if you have the right attitude you can do ANYTHING and have a blast!!! So please do!! There is absolutely no reason not to have fun or atleast in enjoy everything you do!
So Just love me, Don't bore me!!! If you think you're having fun! You are!! Remember that!
Alyssa!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Just Jump!!
I was thinking today about my job. And I was contemplating all the things you see or hear everyday just because of where you are. I then remembered one day when I was life guarding, with one kid in the pool. I remember having such a bad attitude because I had to go out for one girl. But as always I became very easily entertained with it. I noticed how cautious she was and when she was getting and she got in little by little not splashing at all and barely making any ripples. Although she still did seeing it is impossible not to. She was just sitting on the stairs, when another kid came. The difference in attitude was huge. He was not cautious at all, instead he ran and did a cannonball in the deep end. Normally I would have yelled at him, but I was super caught up in what was happening. It was such a contrast from the little girl you didn't even make a splash to this little boy who made this huge impact and sent ripples all the way across the pool. It made me think how much that actually related to life.You can always go through life jumping in and making a splash!! You can affect so many people without even realizing it through one action. Just like the little boy he didn't see how far his ripples spread, but looking from the outside I saw that they affected the whole pool. You are always going to affect something just because your there, like the little girl, just by being there you affect someone or something, no matter how hard you try not to. But in my opinion why not jump in and make a splash and make as big of an effect on the world as you can. She how far your ripples will go. You may not see how many people or things you affect, but there are other people that will. No matter what you affect people!! Just make sure its how you would want to!!! Do that perfect dive don't just flop...
Its been so long I dont even remember how I end this... Ohh well I think it was something to the effect of .... Sooo Just love me... and remember to always make that big splash!!
-Alyssa
Its been so long I dont even remember how I end this... Ohh well I think it was something to the effect of .... Sooo Just love me... and remember to always make that big splash!!
-Alyssa
Monday, April 25, 2011
Making it count!
I don't have a quote today!! Which is probably a good sign, maybe it won't be ridiculously long.
You know that moment when you want to do something so bad, but you are so scared. When you have that second to decide if you are stepping off or chickening out! When you know if you don't do it you'll probably regret it. I just love that! When you are absolutely in control of what happens next! Even if it is just a split second of control, then what happens happens! I like to think everything happens for a reason. The reason might not always be clear, and might not ever be clear. But then again it might, it could be a learning lesson, or something to help someone else, really it could be anything. When you wake up in the morning and you are bombarded with decisions and its not always easy to decide. Every decision has a consequence, not always good not always bad either, most of them you probably don't think about the effect. Even the littlest thing has an effect on the outcome of your day, your week, your month, your year, your life! And to me, that's exciting. Every little thing affects you, and you affect someone else, and on goes the process. It's crazy to think about, it's crazy to realize how much you every decision matters.
Have you ever thought about what if your parents hadn't met. What if they didn't sit next to each other in church or accidentally bumped into each other in the grocery store, or whatever. But they did and now your here and your decisions are affecting others.What happens happens, and it does for a reason. Why regret things you have done, because it can lead to great things. I know I have had that moment when I say Yeah I'm going to do it and go for it. Then maybe five minutes later I think what did I just do! And I feel like a complete idiot. Or I might say Wow that was fun! Either way a lesson comes out of it! And the decision was all mine! And that will affect pretty much everything! Well my decision tonight is to keep it short! Your welcome Kory and Randall( But to be honest, I just want to go to sleep, it has nothing to do with them).
So Just Love Me, and make all of your decisions count!
-Alyssa
You know that moment when you want to do something so bad, but you are so scared. When you have that second to decide if you are stepping off or chickening out! When you know if you don't do it you'll probably regret it. I just love that! When you are absolutely in control of what happens next! Even if it is just a split second of control, then what happens happens! I like to think everything happens for a reason. The reason might not always be clear, and might not ever be clear. But then again it might, it could be a learning lesson, or something to help someone else, really it could be anything. When you wake up in the morning and you are bombarded with decisions and its not always easy to decide. Every decision has a consequence, not always good not always bad either, most of them you probably don't think about the effect. Even the littlest thing has an effect on the outcome of your day, your week, your month, your year, your life! And to me, that's exciting. Every little thing affects you, and you affect someone else, and on goes the process. It's crazy to think about, it's crazy to realize how much you every decision matters.
Have you ever thought about what if your parents hadn't met. What if they didn't sit next to each other in church or accidentally bumped into each other in the grocery store, or whatever. But they did and now your here and your decisions are affecting others.What happens happens, and it does for a reason. Why regret things you have done, because it can lead to great things. I know I have had that moment when I say Yeah I'm going to do it and go for it. Then maybe five minutes later I think what did I just do! And I feel like a complete idiot. Or I might say Wow that was fun! Either way a lesson comes out of it! And the decision was all mine! And that will affect pretty much everything! Well my decision tonight is to keep it short! Your welcome Kory and Randall( But to be honest, I just want to go to sleep, it has nothing to do with them).
So Just Love Me, and make all of your decisions count!
-Alyssa
Monday, March 28, 2011
It can make all the difference
Me- I feel so bad for him.
Mom- Alyssa, Why? He is a bad person.
Me-Who are we to judge, do you know him? Do you know what he has gone through?
Mom-Well No, but....
-Me and My Mother.
Judgment is something that really just bothers me. How we can pass judgment on someone so fast without thinking, yet we don't want to be judged. How we can stereotype or judge someone that we have never even met, that we have never even talked to. But we think we know all about that person just from the way they look. I'm not saying I'm innocent, not at all. What I will say, is that I make a conscious effort to try not to judge. It's hard, it is human nature. We have that mentality to instantly judge someone to make ourselves feel better. That when you see a pretty girl you pick out her flaws. Or when you see someone really talented, you pick out any mistake. We have all done this, and it's such a shame. It's a shame that we judge people at a glance, when if we took time to get to know them, before, you could learn so much.
We all know how it feels to be judged. We have all had that feeling of why? Why can't they just get to know me? We have those feeling and know exactly what it feels like, yet we can turn around in a second and do it to someone else. We turn around and put someone in the situation that we hate being in. The situation that we wish would just stop and we wouldn't have to deal with. We all want that feeling of being liked, but instead a lot of the time it is replaced my judgment and jealousy. Two ugly things that I wish would just disappear But even with how much we all hate those two things we are still guilty of them..
We can be completely closed minded about people. You see someone and quickly pass judgment. You look at their outward appearance, their demeanor, anything you can see without getting to know them. You look at how they are different from you. You criticize, and put down. When if you would take a second and find something good about that person, or see something interesting, it could change your whole outlook about that person You don't even have to talk to them, you can flash a smile at them to make their day better. You don't know what someone else is going through but something easy and simple can make their day better. It can make a huge impact on that person, and make you feel better. You can make yourself feel so much better if you lift someone up instead of tearing someone down. If you go even further and talk to someone new, not only can you learn from them, but they learn from you. You never know when you might say something that could make a huge impact on someone. You could say something that they need to hear. A simple phrase that could make all the difference to them.You can learn so much from people, that you would have otherwise missed out on. You can also teach important lessons. You might not think it's important, but it can be inspiration to someone else.
Another thing that is hard for me with judgment is religion. I have talked to people and told them I am a Mormon. And upon hearing that, they were all the sudden scared that I would think less of them, that I wouldn't want to talk to them. That is something that I am definitely not about. I want to get to know someone for who they are not just what they believe. My parents are always telling me that I need to be careful who my friends are, and who I date. Because your friends influence you, and you fall in love with who you date. I do believe this, but I'm not going to not be friends with someone or not give them a chance based on their religion. I am not that shallow person that will shut you down because our beliefs aren't the same. I like the diversity and learning from people. I will not judge someone because their beliefs are different. It isn't Christ-like and it isn't how Christ would want us to act. He doesn't want us to judge each other. Everyone deserves a chance, and not just one. Everyone messes up and who are we to judge and not give them a chance. People change. I want to see people for who they are not what they are or who they used to be. To me it doesn't matter, we are all human.We are all sons and daughters of God and none of us are better than the other.Why do we put ourselves above others because of our beliefs? We shouldn't but we do. And it's not just Mormons, it's not just in religion. It's in everything. You see people that think they are better because they have money, or they are beautiful, or talented, but it's still not right.
We can miss out on so much just by being shallow and not making and effort. We could make our lives so much more meaningful. We could help others. There is no need for judgment and there is no room for it. We can fill our time with trying to love everyone, and trying to get to know them, trying to learn from them. We all have different experiences and different views. No two people have walked the same path. No two people have even had the same experience the same way. We don't know why people act the way they act, you don't know what someone has been through. But you do know that you wouldn't want to be judged so why judge somebody else! Next time you judge someone or are tempted to try to change a habit and think or say something nice about that person! It can make all the difference!
So Just Love Me and try not to judge!
-Alyssa
Mom- Alyssa, Why? He is a bad person.
Me-Who are we to judge, do you know him? Do you know what he has gone through?
Mom-Well No, but....
-Me and My Mother.
Judgment is something that really just bothers me. How we can pass judgment on someone so fast without thinking, yet we don't want to be judged. How we can stereotype or judge someone that we have never even met, that we have never even talked to. But we think we know all about that person just from the way they look. I'm not saying I'm innocent, not at all. What I will say, is that I make a conscious effort to try not to judge. It's hard, it is human nature. We have that mentality to instantly judge someone to make ourselves feel better. That when you see a pretty girl you pick out her flaws. Or when you see someone really talented, you pick out any mistake. We have all done this, and it's such a shame. It's a shame that we judge people at a glance, when if we took time to get to know them, before, you could learn so much.
We all know how it feels to be judged. We have all had that feeling of why? Why can't they just get to know me? We have those feeling and know exactly what it feels like, yet we can turn around in a second and do it to someone else. We turn around and put someone in the situation that we hate being in. The situation that we wish would just stop and we wouldn't have to deal with. We all want that feeling of being liked, but instead a lot of the time it is replaced my judgment and jealousy. Two ugly things that I wish would just disappear But even with how much we all hate those two things we are still guilty of them..
We can be completely closed minded about people. You see someone and quickly pass judgment. You look at their outward appearance, their demeanor, anything you can see without getting to know them. You look at how they are different from you. You criticize, and put down. When if you would take a second and find something good about that person, or see something interesting, it could change your whole outlook about that person You don't even have to talk to them, you can flash a smile at them to make their day better. You don't know what someone else is going through but something easy and simple can make their day better. It can make a huge impact on that person, and make you feel better. You can make yourself feel so much better if you lift someone up instead of tearing someone down. If you go even further and talk to someone new, not only can you learn from them, but they learn from you. You never know when you might say something that could make a huge impact on someone. You could say something that they need to hear. A simple phrase that could make all the difference to them.You can learn so much from people, that you would have otherwise missed out on. You can also teach important lessons. You might not think it's important, but it can be inspiration to someone else.
Another thing that is hard for me with judgment is religion. I have talked to people and told them I am a Mormon. And upon hearing that, they were all the sudden scared that I would think less of them, that I wouldn't want to talk to them. That is something that I am definitely not about. I want to get to know someone for who they are not just what they believe. My parents are always telling me that I need to be careful who my friends are, and who I date. Because your friends influence you, and you fall in love with who you date. I do believe this, but I'm not going to not be friends with someone or not give them a chance based on their religion. I am not that shallow person that will shut you down because our beliefs aren't the same. I like the diversity and learning from people. I will not judge someone because their beliefs are different. It isn't Christ-like and it isn't how Christ would want us to act. He doesn't want us to judge each other. Everyone deserves a chance, and not just one. Everyone messes up and who are we to judge and not give them a chance. People change. I want to see people for who they are not what they are or who they used to be. To me it doesn't matter, we are all human.We are all sons and daughters of God and none of us are better than the other.Why do we put ourselves above others because of our beliefs? We shouldn't but we do. And it's not just Mormons, it's not just in religion. It's in everything. You see people that think they are better because they have money, or they are beautiful, or talented, but it's still not right.
We can miss out on so much just by being shallow and not making and effort. We could make our lives so much more meaningful. We could help others. There is no need for judgment and there is no room for it. We can fill our time with trying to love everyone, and trying to get to know them, trying to learn from them. We all have different experiences and different views. No two people have walked the same path. No two people have even had the same experience the same way. We don't know why people act the way they act, you don't know what someone has been through. But you do know that you wouldn't want to be judged so why judge somebody else! Next time you judge someone or are tempted to try to change a habit and think or say something nice about that person! It can make all the difference!
So Just Love Me and try not to judge!
-Alyssa
Monday, March 14, 2011
Say what you mean and mean what you say!! Truely follow your dreams!
"We have to stay away from Alyssa because, well she doesn't like you."
-Shad
Sometimes I admire my six year old brothers honesty. He really isn't afraid to say what he means, even if it might not be completely acceptable. A lot of the time as we get older we stop saying what we feel, and try to put things in a way other people won't judge. We stop saying that we want to the president, or princesses, cowboys, or mermaids. We stop because we are scared to hear we can't do it, that we need to be something more realistic. But honestly I wish I still had that little kid mentally! I wish I always said what I meant and meant what I said. I wish I had never backed down from what I really wanted.
When we don't mean what we say and don't say what we mean, it just makes life so much more confusing. When we say we want something that we really don't. I have said stuff, and thought to myself I did not mean that, why did I say that, that is not something I want. Life could be so simple if we could just be honest. But I guess there are those times that you really don't even know what you mean. When you forget what you really want. This is because of the craziness and chaotic nature of our lives and the people in them. When we forget what is really important. We focus on the useless aspects of life and fill or heads with mindless chatter. It happens to everyone. It seems like the more I learn the more confused I get. I am always being bombarded with facts I'm never going to have to use or would ever want to use. But it still takes up space, and once you hear something you do have it forever.
I remember just wanting to grow up when I was little, but now I feel like I need more time as a kid. Funny how that happens. When you want something, it doesn't come fast enough. When you are dreading something, it comes before you know it. Now all I really want is that simplicity back. When you could focus on one thing, and one thing only. Now, it's a constant parade of thoughts when you are trying to concentrate. The constant chatter of worries and questions. Questions that you wish could be a simple yes or no question. Now it's not that easy. It's not cheerios or frosted flakes, it's things that are really going to affect you and your future. It's not as easy when it's going to affect the rest of your life. I remember thinking as a little girl that I knew all the answers. When I just knew that I was Barbie and My Ken would come and say Hey babe wanna go for a ride. And I would jump into his convertible, we'd get married and live happily ever after in Barbie and Kens dream house. Now the reality is hitting me. Things are that easy. I have to really work for what I want to accomplish.
As much as I wish that my Ken will come before any of the worldly worries hit me, it's not going to happen. I have to make all the choices about my future. And my choices will have consequences good or bad. Things aren't going to be as easy as I had always thought.It's not as simple as Yes or No, This or That. You have all the questions that come to your mind to answer, all the what if's. I have come to realize all this with just trying to choose a college. There is the influence of other people's opinions, and of the the what if I don't like it. What if I change my mind. What if, What if, What if. there are endless what if's. And it seems like endless confusion. Do I do what I want, and makes me happy, or do I listen to what my parents want, and let them decide my future. Every decision leaves something to chance, and we won't know the outcome until it happens.
I say take a little risk. Do what you want! Jump as high as you can and reach for Neptune! If you fall and miss your landing, get right back up and try again. Follow your dreams! I know I will! I'm going to be just as successful as Barbie. I'll find my Ken and live happily ever after in our dream house. I might have been a little kid saying that, But as I have learned back then I said what I meant, and meant what I said! I meant That! i might at time fall, and have that confusion and not know what to choose. I will make mistakes, but they will make me better and I will learn from them. It will seem hard and confusing and anything but simple. But I can do it. i can try my best to bring that little kid mentality back and stick to my decisions. Mean exactly what I say and don't second guess myself. I won't have that simplicity of knowing ALL the answers. But I will do my best to try. But I have faith in myself that I will follow the best path for me! That I will find the little kid in me and be Barbie.
So Just Love Me, and remember say what you mean and follow your dreams.
Alyssa
-Shad
Sometimes I admire my six year old brothers honesty. He really isn't afraid to say what he means, even if it might not be completely acceptable. A lot of the time as we get older we stop saying what we feel, and try to put things in a way other people won't judge. We stop saying that we want to the president, or princesses, cowboys, or mermaids. We stop because we are scared to hear we can't do it, that we need to be something more realistic. But honestly I wish I still had that little kid mentally! I wish I always said what I meant and meant what I said. I wish I had never backed down from what I really wanted.
When we don't mean what we say and don't say what we mean, it just makes life so much more confusing. When we say we want something that we really don't. I have said stuff, and thought to myself I did not mean that, why did I say that, that is not something I want. Life could be so simple if we could just be honest. But I guess there are those times that you really don't even know what you mean. When you forget what you really want. This is because of the craziness and chaotic nature of our lives and the people in them. When we forget what is really important. We focus on the useless aspects of life and fill or heads with mindless chatter. It happens to everyone. It seems like the more I learn the more confused I get. I am always being bombarded with facts I'm never going to have to use or would ever want to use. But it still takes up space, and once you hear something you do have it forever.
I remember just wanting to grow up when I was little, but now I feel like I need more time as a kid. Funny how that happens. When you want something, it doesn't come fast enough. When you are dreading something, it comes before you know it. Now all I really want is that simplicity back. When you could focus on one thing, and one thing only. Now, it's a constant parade of thoughts when you are trying to concentrate. The constant chatter of worries and questions. Questions that you wish could be a simple yes or no question. Now it's not that easy. It's not cheerios or frosted flakes, it's things that are really going to affect you and your future. It's not as easy when it's going to affect the rest of your life. I remember thinking as a little girl that I knew all the answers. When I just knew that I was Barbie and My Ken would come and say Hey babe wanna go for a ride. And I would jump into his convertible, we'd get married and live happily ever after in Barbie and Kens dream house. Now the reality is hitting me. Things are that easy. I have to really work for what I want to accomplish.
As much as I wish that my Ken will come before any of the worldly worries hit me, it's not going to happen. I have to make all the choices about my future. And my choices will have consequences good or bad. Things aren't going to be as easy as I had always thought.It's not as simple as Yes or No, This or That. You have all the questions that come to your mind to answer, all the what if's. I have come to realize all this with just trying to choose a college. There is the influence of other people's opinions, and of the the what if I don't like it. What if I change my mind. What if, What if, What if. there are endless what if's. And it seems like endless confusion. Do I do what I want, and makes me happy, or do I listen to what my parents want, and let them decide my future. Every decision leaves something to chance, and we won't know the outcome until it happens.
I say take a little risk. Do what you want! Jump as high as you can and reach for Neptune! If you fall and miss your landing, get right back up and try again. Follow your dreams! I know I will! I'm going to be just as successful as Barbie. I'll find my Ken and live happily ever after in our dream house. I might have been a little kid saying that, But as I have learned back then I said what I meant, and meant what I said! I meant That! i might at time fall, and have that confusion and not know what to choose. I will make mistakes, but they will make me better and I will learn from them. It will seem hard and confusing and anything but simple. But I can do it. i can try my best to bring that little kid mentality back and stick to my decisions. Mean exactly what I say and don't second guess myself. I won't have that simplicity of knowing ALL the answers. But I will do my best to try. But I have faith in myself that I will follow the best path for me! That I will find the little kid in me and be Barbie.
So Just Love Me, and remember say what you mean and follow your dreams.
Alyssa
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can also hurt me.
"Shad, Oh my gosh sit down. You look so stupid! You look like a dog. People do not stick their head out the window and stick their tongue out. Shad, I'm serious! Stop, I mean it! Stop it right now! Mom, roll his window up! Shad, why would you even do that, you don't even realize how dumb you just looked. You're so annoying. I don't know how mom even puts up with you. I don't even like you!"
-Alyssa (Me) (as awful to admit as it is.)
Why on earth do we say mean hurtful things to people? Do we say it out of anger? Do we try to hurt them? Does it make us feel better? In the moment I think it is all of those things. When we are thinking completely irrational. Maybe we are having a bad day, and don't want to be alone in misery. But how completely horrid and selfish is that. I know that I have hurt a lot of people's feelings by being irrational and not caring. The worst part is that I say these things to the people I love the most. In all honesty, we shouldn't say these to anyone, we should love everyone and not want to cause them pain.
You know that saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I remember when the worst pain I knew was falling and skinning my knee. Oh don't I wish that was still the most pain I have felt. I must admit that the emotional pain from unkind words is much worse. We can say that words don't affect us, but they do. They hurt worse than anything. A skinned knee heels in a few weeks, but when do hurt feelings? Do they ever? When do we get over being repeatedly called mean names?
I know that it's hard trying to get over words. As much as you try to ignore them, they come back to haunt you at the worst times. The times when you can barely handle it. When you are down on yourself, when you feel worthless, when everything is going wrong.When you are hurting and alone. I don't normally talk about my pain. But I have cried more over emotional pain than physical pain. I have been asked why I have been sad, and told that my life is so great. People don't always understand how much words can hurt. How being gossiped about builds up. It makes you feel so alone. You can try to ignore it and fake a smile, but how long can you fake it. How it seems you are getting judged for every little thing you do. When you don't know who you can talk to, because the next day they are talking about you.
I can honestly say that it is hard. It is hard trying to be nice to people that have made you feel horrible. When I was repeatedly being called things, it did get to me. I did start believing it. I started to shut down and put walls up. I tried to make sure nobody ever got close enough to really hurt me. But it's not like only people close to me could hurt me. It did hurt hearing people talk about me that I did not even know. People that I had never even talked to. I wondered why people that I didn't even know talked about me. Maybe it was because everyone was doing it. it wasn't popular to stand up and not talk about me. I was hurting and I was not happy. I wanted to run away from it, but you can't run away from your emotions. You can't escape how you feel about yourself. I didn't even like myself, I was believing what people were saying.
One day I realized that I would never be happy like that. To get over it I had to forgive everyone that had ever said anything. I learned not to hate, but to love everyone. I learned to smile when I got dirty looks. I learned to not judge them, but to accept them. I learned to be nice to people that weren't nice to me. I learned to say something nice when I was tempted to say something mean. Eventually things changed I was actually nice and not unhappy. Slowly but surely I was treated different. I know that a lot of people still don't like me, but I have learned to like myself. I now know how to take unkind words. They still hurt and I'm still working on it. I'm still working on being myself and breaking down my walls. I'm still trying to not say unkind thing. But it is really hard. It is something we all need to work on, we have all been spoken to unkindly.
Everyone knows what I'm talking about. Everyone has been called a mean name or has had unkind words spoken to them. It's not fun, and it does hurt. You feel alone, and angry at that person for making you feel that way. But do you ever think about how that person feels, they have been hurt by words too. It's an endless vicious cycle. Well why can't we end it? Why can't we take a second and breathe? Why can't we think about how they are feeling? Why can't we remember how we feel in that situation? Why can't we let them be happy? Why can't we? Well we can, and we should!
Instead of speaking out in anger, take a second and breathe. Instead of getting jealous and wanting them to feel bad, let them be happy and even compliment them. We can turn this around. "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you, and persecute you;" -Matthew 5:44. We can do it! It does take a conscious effort, but it's worth it. It does make you feel better! Where has hate ever gotten you? It sure doesn't make you feel good. But being kind does. Live by the golden rule! "Do unto others as you would have done unto you.". Put yourself in another persons shoes. If you wouldn't like it don't say it, don't do it. Be kind to everyone. Try sticking up for someone that you normally wouldn't. Stop gossip before it starts. Words do hurt, and why do we need more pain in this world? We don't need to purposely inflict pain on anyone.
My point is simple words or careless things we say can have a huge impact on our lives. They can make or break someone. They can cause problems or help solve them. Words are so amazing but we need to be kind about what we say. We need to be careful not to speak out in anger. We need to try to uplift everyone and not bring them down. When you try to bring someone else down, you are bringing yourself down with them. My challenge is try and be nice! When you are angry or annoyed just take a second and breathe. Do you really mean it? Try to replace it with something nice. Think of something you like about that person. It helps, and makes you feel much better.
"Sticks and stones may breaks my bone, but words can also hurt me."
So Just Love Me, and everyone else!
-Alyssa
-Alyssa (Me) (as awful to admit as it is.)
Why on earth do we say mean hurtful things to people? Do we say it out of anger? Do we try to hurt them? Does it make us feel better? In the moment I think it is all of those things. When we are thinking completely irrational. Maybe we are having a bad day, and don't want to be alone in misery. But how completely horrid and selfish is that. I know that I have hurt a lot of people's feelings by being irrational and not caring. The worst part is that I say these things to the people I love the most. In all honesty, we shouldn't say these to anyone, we should love everyone and not want to cause them pain.
You know that saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I remember when the worst pain I knew was falling and skinning my knee. Oh don't I wish that was still the most pain I have felt. I must admit that the emotional pain from unkind words is much worse. We can say that words don't affect us, but they do. They hurt worse than anything. A skinned knee heels in a few weeks, but when do hurt feelings? Do they ever? When do we get over being repeatedly called mean names?
I know that it's hard trying to get over words. As much as you try to ignore them, they come back to haunt you at the worst times. The times when you can barely handle it. When you are down on yourself, when you feel worthless, when everything is going wrong.When you are hurting and alone. I don't normally talk about my pain. But I have cried more over emotional pain than physical pain. I have been asked why I have been sad, and told that my life is so great. People don't always understand how much words can hurt. How being gossiped about builds up. It makes you feel so alone. You can try to ignore it and fake a smile, but how long can you fake it. How it seems you are getting judged for every little thing you do. When you don't know who you can talk to, because the next day they are talking about you.
I can honestly say that it is hard. It is hard trying to be nice to people that have made you feel horrible. When I was repeatedly being called things, it did get to me. I did start believing it. I started to shut down and put walls up. I tried to make sure nobody ever got close enough to really hurt me. But it's not like only people close to me could hurt me. It did hurt hearing people talk about me that I did not even know. People that I had never even talked to. I wondered why people that I didn't even know talked about me. Maybe it was because everyone was doing it. it wasn't popular to stand up and not talk about me. I was hurting and I was not happy. I wanted to run away from it, but you can't run away from your emotions. You can't escape how you feel about yourself. I didn't even like myself, I was believing what people were saying.
One day I realized that I would never be happy like that. To get over it I had to forgive everyone that had ever said anything. I learned not to hate, but to love everyone. I learned to smile when I got dirty looks. I learned to not judge them, but to accept them. I learned to be nice to people that weren't nice to me. I learned to say something nice when I was tempted to say something mean. Eventually things changed I was actually nice and not unhappy. Slowly but surely I was treated different. I know that a lot of people still don't like me, but I have learned to like myself. I now know how to take unkind words. They still hurt and I'm still working on it. I'm still working on being myself and breaking down my walls. I'm still trying to not say unkind thing. But it is really hard. It is something we all need to work on, we have all been spoken to unkindly.
Everyone knows what I'm talking about. Everyone has been called a mean name or has had unkind words spoken to them. It's not fun, and it does hurt. You feel alone, and angry at that person for making you feel that way. But do you ever think about how that person feels, they have been hurt by words too. It's an endless vicious cycle. Well why can't we end it? Why can't we take a second and breathe? Why can't we think about how they are feeling? Why can't we remember how we feel in that situation? Why can't we let them be happy? Why can't we? Well we can, and we should!
Instead of speaking out in anger, take a second and breathe. Instead of getting jealous and wanting them to feel bad, let them be happy and even compliment them. We can turn this around. "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you, and persecute you;" -Matthew 5:44. We can do it! It does take a conscious effort, but it's worth it. It does make you feel better! Where has hate ever gotten you? It sure doesn't make you feel good. But being kind does. Live by the golden rule! "Do unto others as you would have done unto you.". Put yourself in another persons shoes. If you wouldn't like it don't say it, don't do it. Be kind to everyone. Try sticking up for someone that you normally wouldn't. Stop gossip before it starts. Words do hurt, and why do we need more pain in this world? We don't need to purposely inflict pain on anyone.
My point is simple words or careless things we say can have a huge impact on our lives. They can make or break someone. They can cause problems or help solve them. Words are so amazing but we need to be kind about what we say. We need to be careful not to speak out in anger. We need to try to uplift everyone and not bring them down. When you try to bring someone else down, you are bringing yourself down with them. My challenge is try and be nice! When you are angry or annoyed just take a second and breathe. Do you really mean it? Try to replace it with something nice. Think of something you like about that person. It helps, and makes you feel much better.
"Sticks and stones may breaks my bone, but words can also hurt me."
So Just Love Me, and everyone else!
-Alyssa
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