Me- I feel so bad for him.
Mom- Alyssa, Why? He is a bad person.
Me-Who are we to judge, do you know him? Do you know what he has gone through?
Mom-Well No, but....
-Me and My Mother.
Judgment is something that really just bothers me. How we can pass judgment on someone so fast without thinking, yet we don't want to be judged. How we can stereotype or judge someone that we have never even met, that we have never even talked to. But we think we know all about that person just from the way they look. I'm not saying I'm innocent, not at all. What I will say, is that I make a conscious effort to try not to judge. It's hard, it is human nature. We have that mentality to instantly judge someone to make ourselves feel better. That when you see a pretty girl you pick out her flaws. Or when you see someone really talented, you pick out any mistake. We have all done this, and it's such a shame. It's a shame that we judge people at a glance, when if we took time to get to know them, before, you could learn so much.
We all know how it feels to be judged. We have all had that feeling of why? Why can't they just get to know me? We have those feeling and know exactly what it feels like, yet we can turn around in a second and do it to someone else. We turn around and put someone in the situation that we hate being in. The situation that we wish would just stop and we wouldn't have to deal with. We all want that feeling of being liked, but instead a lot of the time it is replaced my judgment and jealousy. Two ugly things that I wish would just disappear But even with how much we all hate those two things we are still guilty of them..
We can be completely closed minded about people. You see someone and quickly pass judgment. You look at their outward appearance, their demeanor, anything you can see without getting to know them. You look at how they are different from you. You criticize, and put down. When if you would take a second and find something good about that person, or see something interesting, it could change your whole outlook about that person You don't even have to talk to them, you can flash a smile at them to make their day better. You don't know what someone else is going through but something easy and simple can make their day better. It can make a huge impact on that person, and make you feel better. You can make yourself feel so much better if you lift someone up instead of tearing someone down. If you go even further and talk to someone new, not only can you learn from them, but they learn from you. You never know when you might say something that could make a huge impact on someone. You could say something that they need to hear. A simple phrase that could make all the difference to them.You can learn so much from people, that you would have otherwise missed out on. You can also teach important lessons. You might not think it's important, but it can be inspiration to someone else.
Another thing that is hard for me with judgment is religion. I have talked to people and told them I am a Mormon. And upon hearing that, they were all the sudden scared that I would think less of them, that I wouldn't want to talk to them. That is something that I am definitely not about. I want to get to know someone for who they are not just what they believe. My parents are always telling me that I need to be careful who my friends are, and who I date. Because your friends influence you, and you fall in love with who you date. I do believe this, but I'm not going to not be friends with someone or not give them a chance based on their religion. I am not that shallow person that will shut you down because our beliefs aren't the same. I like the diversity and learning from people. I will not judge someone because their beliefs are different. It isn't Christ-like and it isn't how Christ would want us to act. He doesn't want us to judge each other. Everyone deserves a chance, and not just one. Everyone messes up and who are we to judge and not give them a chance. People change. I want to see people for who they are not what they are or who they used to be. To me it doesn't matter, we are all human.We are all sons and daughters of God and none of us are better than the other.Why do we put ourselves above others because of our beliefs? We shouldn't but we do. And it's not just Mormons, it's not just in religion. It's in everything. You see people that think they are better because they have money, or they are beautiful, or talented, but it's still not right.
We can miss out on so much just by being shallow and not making and effort. We could make our lives so much more meaningful. We could help others. There is no need for judgment and there is no room for it. We can fill our time with trying to love everyone, and trying to get to know them, trying to learn from them. We all have different experiences and different views. No two people have walked the same path. No two people have even had the same experience the same way. We don't know why people act the way they act, you don't know what someone has been through. But you do know that you wouldn't want to be judged so why judge somebody else! Next time you judge someone or are tempted to try to change a habit and think or say something nice about that person! It can make all the difference!
So Just Love Me and try not to judge!
-Alyssa
Monday, March 28, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Say what you mean and mean what you say!! Truely follow your dreams!
"We have to stay away from Alyssa because, well she doesn't like you."
-Shad
Sometimes I admire my six year old brothers honesty. He really isn't afraid to say what he means, even if it might not be completely acceptable. A lot of the time as we get older we stop saying what we feel, and try to put things in a way other people won't judge. We stop saying that we want to the president, or princesses, cowboys, or mermaids. We stop because we are scared to hear we can't do it, that we need to be something more realistic. But honestly I wish I still had that little kid mentally! I wish I always said what I meant and meant what I said. I wish I had never backed down from what I really wanted.
When we don't mean what we say and don't say what we mean, it just makes life so much more confusing. When we say we want something that we really don't. I have said stuff, and thought to myself I did not mean that, why did I say that, that is not something I want. Life could be so simple if we could just be honest. But I guess there are those times that you really don't even know what you mean. When you forget what you really want. This is because of the craziness and chaotic nature of our lives and the people in them. When we forget what is really important. We focus on the useless aspects of life and fill or heads with mindless chatter. It happens to everyone. It seems like the more I learn the more confused I get. I am always being bombarded with facts I'm never going to have to use or would ever want to use. But it still takes up space, and once you hear something you do have it forever.
I remember just wanting to grow up when I was little, but now I feel like I need more time as a kid. Funny how that happens. When you want something, it doesn't come fast enough. When you are dreading something, it comes before you know it. Now all I really want is that simplicity back. When you could focus on one thing, and one thing only. Now, it's a constant parade of thoughts when you are trying to concentrate. The constant chatter of worries and questions. Questions that you wish could be a simple yes or no question. Now it's not that easy. It's not cheerios or frosted flakes, it's things that are really going to affect you and your future. It's not as easy when it's going to affect the rest of your life. I remember thinking as a little girl that I knew all the answers. When I just knew that I was Barbie and My Ken would come and say Hey babe wanna go for a ride. And I would jump into his convertible, we'd get married and live happily ever after in Barbie and Kens dream house. Now the reality is hitting me. Things are that easy. I have to really work for what I want to accomplish.
As much as I wish that my Ken will come before any of the worldly worries hit me, it's not going to happen. I have to make all the choices about my future. And my choices will have consequences good or bad. Things aren't going to be as easy as I had always thought.It's not as simple as Yes or No, This or That. You have all the questions that come to your mind to answer, all the what if's. I have come to realize all this with just trying to choose a college. There is the influence of other people's opinions, and of the the what if I don't like it. What if I change my mind. What if, What if, What if. there are endless what if's. And it seems like endless confusion. Do I do what I want, and makes me happy, or do I listen to what my parents want, and let them decide my future. Every decision leaves something to chance, and we won't know the outcome until it happens.
I say take a little risk. Do what you want! Jump as high as you can and reach for Neptune! If you fall and miss your landing, get right back up and try again. Follow your dreams! I know I will! I'm going to be just as successful as Barbie. I'll find my Ken and live happily ever after in our dream house. I might have been a little kid saying that, But as I have learned back then I said what I meant, and meant what I said! I meant That! i might at time fall, and have that confusion and not know what to choose. I will make mistakes, but they will make me better and I will learn from them. It will seem hard and confusing and anything but simple. But I can do it. i can try my best to bring that little kid mentality back and stick to my decisions. Mean exactly what I say and don't second guess myself. I won't have that simplicity of knowing ALL the answers. But I will do my best to try. But I have faith in myself that I will follow the best path for me! That I will find the little kid in me and be Barbie.
So Just Love Me, and remember say what you mean and follow your dreams.
Alyssa
-Shad
Sometimes I admire my six year old brothers honesty. He really isn't afraid to say what he means, even if it might not be completely acceptable. A lot of the time as we get older we stop saying what we feel, and try to put things in a way other people won't judge. We stop saying that we want to the president, or princesses, cowboys, or mermaids. We stop because we are scared to hear we can't do it, that we need to be something more realistic. But honestly I wish I still had that little kid mentally! I wish I always said what I meant and meant what I said. I wish I had never backed down from what I really wanted.
When we don't mean what we say and don't say what we mean, it just makes life so much more confusing. When we say we want something that we really don't. I have said stuff, and thought to myself I did not mean that, why did I say that, that is not something I want. Life could be so simple if we could just be honest. But I guess there are those times that you really don't even know what you mean. When you forget what you really want. This is because of the craziness and chaotic nature of our lives and the people in them. When we forget what is really important. We focus on the useless aspects of life and fill or heads with mindless chatter. It happens to everyone. It seems like the more I learn the more confused I get. I am always being bombarded with facts I'm never going to have to use or would ever want to use. But it still takes up space, and once you hear something you do have it forever.
I remember just wanting to grow up when I was little, but now I feel like I need more time as a kid. Funny how that happens. When you want something, it doesn't come fast enough. When you are dreading something, it comes before you know it. Now all I really want is that simplicity back. When you could focus on one thing, and one thing only. Now, it's a constant parade of thoughts when you are trying to concentrate. The constant chatter of worries and questions. Questions that you wish could be a simple yes or no question. Now it's not that easy. It's not cheerios or frosted flakes, it's things that are really going to affect you and your future. It's not as easy when it's going to affect the rest of your life. I remember thinking as a little girl that I knew all the answers. When I just knew that I was Barbie and My Ken would come and say Hey babe wanna go for a ride. And I would jump into his convertible, we'd get married and live happily ever after in Barbie and Kens dream house. Now the reality is hitting me. Things are that easy. I have to really work for what I want to accomplish.
As much as I wish that my Ken will come before any of the worldly worries hit me, it's not going to happen. I have to make all the choices about my future. And my choices will have consequences good or bad. Things aren't going to be as easy as I had always thought.It's not as simple as Yes or No, This or That. You have all the questions that come to your mind to answer, all the what if's. I have come to realize all this with just trying to choose a college. There is the influence of other people's opinions, and of the the what if I don't like it. What if I change my mind. What if, What if, What if. there are endless what if's. And it seems like endless confusion. Do I do what I want, and makes me happy, or do I listen to what my parents want, and let them decide my future. Every decision leaves something to chance, and we won't know the outcome until it happens.
I say take a little risk. Do what you want! Jump as high as you can and reach for Neptune! If you fall and miss your landing, get right back up and try again. Follow your dreams! I know I will! I'm going to be just as successful as Barbie. I'll find my Ken and live happily ever after in our dream house. I might have been a little kid saying that, But as I have learned back then I said what I meant, and meant what I said! I meant That! i might at time fall, and have that confusion and not know what to choose. I will make mistakes, but they will make me better and I will learn from them. It will seem hard and confusing and anything but simple. But I can do it. i can try my best to bring that little kid mentality back and stick to my decisions. Mean exactly what I say and don't second guess myself. I won't have that simplicity of knowing ALL the answers. But I will do my best to try. But I have faith in myself that I will follow the best path for me! That I will find the little kid in me and be Barbie.
So Just Love Me, and remember say what you mean and follow your dreams.
Alyssa
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can also hurt me.
"Shad, Oh my gosh sit down. You look so stupid! You look like a dog. People do not stick their head out the window and stick their tongue out. Shad, I'm serious! Stop, I mean it! Stop it right now! Mom, roll his window up! Shad, why would you even do that, you don't even realize how dumb you just looked. You're so annoying. I don't know how mom even puts up with you. I don't even like you!"
-Alyssa (Me) (as awful to admit as it is.)
Why on earth do we say mean hurtful things to people? Do we say it out of anger? Do we try to hurt them? Does it make us feel better? In the moment I think it is all of those things. When we are thinking completely irrational. Maybe we are having a bad day, and don't want to be alone in misery. But how completely horrid and selfish is that. I know that I have hurt a lot of people's feelings by being irrational and not caring. The worst part is that I say these things to the people I love the most. In all honesty, we shouldn't say these to anyone, we should love everyone and not want to cause them pain.
You know that saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I remember when the worst pain I knew was falling and skinning my knee. Oh don't I wish that was still the most pain I have felt. I must admit that the emotional pain from unkind words is much worse. We can say that words don't affect us, but they do. They hurt worse than anything. A skinned knee heels in a few weeks, but when do hurt feelings? Do they ever? When do we get over being repeatedly called mean names?
I know that it's hard trying to get over words. As much as you try to ignore them, they come back to haunt you at the worst times. The times when you can barely handle it. When you are down on yourself, when you feel worthless, when everything is going wrong.When you are hurting and alone. I don't normally talk about my pain. But I have cried more over emotional pain than physical pain. I have been asked why I have been sad, and told that my life is so great. People don't always understand how much words can hurt. How being gossiped about builds up. It makes you feel so alone. You can try to ignore it and fake a smile, but how long can you fake it. How it seems you are getting judged for every little thing you do. When you don't know who you can talk to, because the next day they are talking about you.
I can honestly say that it is hard. It is hard trying to be nice to people that have made you feel horrible. When I was repeatedly being called things, it did get to me. I did start believing it. I started to shut down and put walls up. I tried to make sure nobody ever got close enough to really hurt me. But it's not like only people close to me could hurt me. It did hurt hearing people talk about me that I did not even know. People that I had never even talked to. I wondered why people that I didn't even know talked about me. Maybe it was because everyone was doing it. it wasn't popular to stand up and not talk about me. I was hurting and I was not happy. I wanted to run away from it, but you can't run away from your emotions. You can't escape how you feel about yourself. I didn't even like myself, I was believing what people were saying.
One day I realized that I would never be happy like that. To get over it I had to forgive everyone that had ever said anything. I learned not to hate, but to love everyone. I learned to smile when I got dirty looks. I learned to not judge them, but to accept them. I learned to be nice to people that weren't nice to me. I learned to say something nice when I was tempted to say something mean. Eventually things changed I was actually nice and not unhappy. Slowly but surely I was treated different. I know that a lot of people still don't like me, but I have learned to like myself. I now know how to take unkind words. They still hurt and I'm still working on it. I'm still working on being myself and breaking down my walls. I'm still trying to not say unkind thing. But it is really hard. It is something we all need to work on, we have all been spoken to unkindly.
Everyone knows what I'm talking about. Everyone has been called a mean name or has had unkind words spoken to them. It's not fun, and it does hurt. You feel alone, and angry at that person for making you feel that way. But do you ever think about how that person feels, they have been hurt by words too. It's an endless vicious cycle. Well why can't we end it? Why can't we take a second and breathe? Why can't we think about how they are feeling? Why can't we remember how we feel in that situation? Why can't we let them be happy? Why can't we? Well we can, and we should!
Instead of speaking out in anger, take a second and breathe. Instead of getting jealous and wanting them to feel bad, let them be happy and even compliment them. We can turn this around. "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you, and persecute you;" -Matthew 5:44. We can do it! It does take a conscious effort, but it's worth it. It does make you feel better! Where has hate ever gotten you? It sure doesn't make you feel good. But being kind does. Live by the golden rule! "Do unto others as you would have done unto you.". Put yourself in another persons shoes. If you wouldn't like it don't say it, don't do it. Be kind to everyone. Try sticking up for someone that you normally wouldn't. Stop gossip before it starts. Words do hurt, and why do we need more pain in this world? We don't need to purposely inflict pain on anyone.
My point is simple words or careless things we say can have a huge impact on our lives. They can make or break someone. They can cause problems or help solve them. Words are so amazing but we need to be kind about what we say. We need to be careful not to speak out in anger. We need to try to uplift everyone and not bring them down. When you try to bring someone else down, you are bringing yourself down with them. My challenge is try and be nice! When you are angry or annoyed just take a second and breathe. Do you really mean it? Try to replace it with something nice. Think of something you like about that person. It helps, and makes you feel much better.
"Sticks and stones may breaks my bone, but words can also hurt me."
So Just Love Me, and everyone else!
-Alyssa
-Alyssa (Me) (as awful to admit as it is.)
Why on earth do we say mean hurtful things to people? Do we say it out of anger? Do we try to hurt them? Does it make us feel better? In the moment I think it is all of those things. When we are thinking completely irrational. Maybe we are having a bad day, and don't want to be alone in misery. But how completely horrid and selfish is that. I know that I have hurt a lot of people's feelings by being irrational and not caring. The worst part is that I say these things to the people I love the most. In all honesty, we shouldn't say these to anyone, we should love everyone and not want to cause them pain.
You know that saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I remember when the worst pain I knew was falling and skinning my knee. Oh don't I wish that was still the most pain I have felt. I must admit that the emotional pain from unkind words is much worse. We can say that words don't affect us, but they do. They hurt worse than anything. A skinned knee heels in a few weeks, but when do hurt feelings? Do they ever? When do we get over being repeatedly called mean names?
I know that it's hard trying to get over words. As much as you try to ignore them, they come back to haunt you at the worst times. The times when you can barely handle it. When you are down on yourself, when you feel worthless, when everything is going wrong.When you are hurting and alone. I don't normally talk about my pain. But I have cried more over emotional pain than physical pain. I have been asked why I have been sad, and told that my life is so great. People don't always understand how much words can hurt. How being gossiped about builds up. It makes you feel so alone. You can try to ignore it and fake a smile, but how long can you fake it. How it seems you are getting judged for every little thing you do. When you don't know who you can talk to, because the next day they are talking about you.
I can honestly say that it is hard. It is hard trying to be nice to people that have made you feel horrible. When I was repeatedly being called things, it did get to me. I did start believing it. I started to shut down and put walls up. I tried to make sure nobody ever got close enough to really hurt me. But it's not like only people close to me could hurt me. It did hurt hearing people talk about me that I did not even know. People that I had never even talked to. I wondered why people that I didn't even know talked about me. Maybe it was because everyone was doing it. it wasn't popular to stand up and not talk about me. I was hurting and I was not happy. I wanted to run away from it, but you can't run away from your emotions. You can't escape how you feel about yourself. I didn't even like myself, I was believing what people were saying.
One day I realized that I would never be happy like that. To get over it I had to forgive everyone that had ever said anything. I learned not to hate, but to love everyone. I learned to smile when I got dirty looks. I learned to not judge them, but to accept them. I learned to be nice to people that weren't nice to me. I learned to say something nice when I was tempted to say something mean. Eventually things changed I was actually nice and not unhappy. Slowly but surely I was treated different. I know that a lot of people still don't like me, but I have learned to like myself. I now know how to take unkind words. They still hurt and I'm still working on it. I'm still working on being myself and breaking down my walls. I'm still trying to not say unkind thing. But it is really hard. It is something we all need to work on, we have all been spoken to unkindly.
Everyone knows what I'm talking about. Everyone has been called a mean name or has had unkind words spoken to them. It's not fun, and it does hurt. You feel alone, and angry at that person for making you feel that way. But do you ever think about how that person feels, they have been hurt by words too. It's an endless vicious cycle. Well why can't we end it? Why can't we take a second and breathe? Why can't we think about how they are feeling? Why can't we remember how we feel in that situation? Why can't we let them be happy? Why can't we? Well we can, and we should!
Instead of speaking out in anger, take a second and breathe. Instead of getting jealous and wanting them to feel bad, let them be happy and even compliment them. We can turn this around. "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you, and persecute you;" -Matthew 5:44. We can do it! It does take a conscious effort, but it's worth it. It does make you feel better! Where has hate ever gotten you? It sure doesn't make you feel good. But being kind does. Live by the golden rule! "Do unto others as you would have done unto you.". Put yourself in another persons shoes. If you wouldn't like it don't say it, don't do it. Be kind to everyone. Try sticking up for someone that you normally wouldn't. Stop gossip before it starts. Words do hurt, and why do we need more pain in this world? We don't need to purposely inflict pain on anyone.
My point is simple words or careless things we say can have a huge impact on our lives. They can make or break someone. They can cause problems or help solve them. Words are so amazing but we need to be kind about what we say. We need to be careful not to speak out in anger. We need to try to uplift everyone and not bring them down. When you try to bring someone else down, you are bringing yourself down with them. My challenge is try and be nice! When you are angry or annoyed just take a second and breathe. Do you really mean it? Try to replace it with something nice. Think of something you like about that person. It helps, and makes you feel much better.
"Sticks and stones may breaks my bone, but words can also hurt me."
So Just Love Me, and everyone else!
-Alyssa
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